Hayden Chronicle

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Thought we'd keep a chronicle of life with Hayden and parents.

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April 30: After teasing mommy with 20 hours of labor, Hayden decides to make his public debut. He is 20" long and weighs 6lb 13oz.

Day 3: Before Claire's milk came in Hayden nurse for a long time and be very fussy. On Day 3, around 5:30 in the morning her milk came in and suddenly he was getting the good stuff. He sucked for maybe 5 minutes, yanked off, burped, spit up, and passed out cold. He was limp; we could have thrown him across the room and he wouldn't have noticed. Claire had to wait 20 minutes for him to come to to finish feeding him.

Given his many blue outfits with white hats, and his propensity to get dopey after eating, Claire dubs him the Drunken Sailor.

He also looks like Mr. Magoo while breastfeeding.

Day 8: Little guy loses his foreskin. What a trooper.

Day 13: Hayden loses his umbilical cord, had his first goober, and his first projectile vomit. A very big day.

Differences between Mommy and Daddy:

Day 18: Hayden goes through a conversion ceremony to make him officially Jewish. Claire desired to dot their i's on this. He was dunked in the ritual bath & blew bubbles.

Mark & Claire begin using Hayden as a prop, lack of sleep making everything hysterically funny. He falls asleep with his hands above his head and we tried to get a picture of us sticking him up. We took a shot comparing his head with a large tomato.

Hayden communicates well with Daddy. Daddy says, "Breathe if you like this." And he does it. "Cry if you're happy." It's amazing.

Daddy holds Hayden up to his ear and says, "Tell me a secret." Waits a moment. Says, "He said (breathing) 'Huh, huh, huh.'"


Hayden continues disobeying Mommy's request to not get any bigger.

Claire decides that since her boobs have turned into torpedoes, Hayden is the Bomb Squad.

Hayden got introduced to a flower, a tree, and a rock. He seemed unimpressed. Later he was equally unimpressed by dirt.


Hayden takes his first shower, with Daddy, and loves it.

Hayden does this insanely cute thing where he stretches his arms WAY above his head after he eats and is tired. If we catch it and fly him around the room when he does it, he is Superman.

Hayden has begun to smile, but Daddy still insists that all smiles are gas. Mommy thinks that Hayden will smile when he is 18, and Daddy will still say it's gas.

Mommy and Daddy have defined the swaddle, the super swaddle, and the master swaddle. They are determined by his ability to escape them. Daddy is the only one who can achieve the master swaddle.

Differences between Mommy and Daddy:

Hayden projectile vomits on Daddy: "Get it off me! Get it off me!"
Hayden projectile vomits on Mommy, "Get it off the carpet! Get it off the carpet!"


Hayden takes his first bottle. While Mommy fusses and lectures Daddy on how to do it, Hayden has finished half the bottle.

Claire's boobs are out of control. She wants to learn how to write her name in the snow.

Mommy takes pictures on the front lawn with Hayden wearing his camo outfit from Grandma Woodruff. It is very hard to see Hayden with his camouflage on. In remote Oklahoma, you can buy baby camo, complete with booties, and a store called "Chandra's Boutique," all wrapped with pink ribbon.

Daddy begins a list of all the time that Hayden would be sent to his room were he not a tiny baby. He claims he will pull out this list when he two and a half and catch him up.


Hayden is driven to distraction by his fingers. "Why sleep when you have a HAND? Where did this thing COME from?"

Hayden finally has achieved a god's-honest thumb suck.

Hayden has an effective pouty face. We are in the grocery store. It goes like this:

Hayden: "Pick me up."
Mommy: "Honey-bunny, we're almost done--"
Hayden: "Pick me up."
Mommy: "Just hang on another minute! We just need some frozen peas and--"
Hayden: "Pick me up."
Mommy: "We're almost done! We just--"
Hayden: "Pick me up."
Mommy: "You win! You win!" (He gets picked up.)

Cousins Justin & Ryan are visiting. Justin says to Hayden, "Stop laughin'! Stop LAUGHIN'!" in a really cute voice. Later, Justin is in charge of entertaining Hayden in the car. Hayden begins to cry. Justin cries, "No! Don't cry! In da' house in da' house in da' house!"

What does it MEAN?

Ryan is a natural born babysitter. Aunt Claire teaches Ryan how to change a cloth diaper "for his education."


Hayden has graduated to wearing real live pajamas at bedtime, and not wearing them during the day. Mommy sings, "Sing us a song, you're the pajama man..."

Hayden has gone bald on top and looks like Ron Howard.


Hayden routinely breastfeeds on his side in bed with Mommy, then pulls off and uses Mommy's booby as a little pillow and falls asleep.


Hayden accidentally flops over from his back to his stomach. He does it a number of times, so we count it as an official roll over.


Hayden is now fabulous at rolling over but cannot roll back, which poses a problem since he hates being on his tummy. He gets into pickles like that. Mommy is tired of rolling him back.

He rolls over halfway sometimes on the changing table, thereby giving you the moon. It's a lovely moon.


Hayden rolled from front to back twice, but has no consistency doing it.

Hayden has begun to recognize Mommy enough to prefer her over other people. Mommy loves that.

Grandma Janice comes to visit. She props him on her tummy with his feet up in front of him and says, "Talk to me." He loves it.


Hayden drools drools drools. Droolfest. No teeth yet.

Differences between Mommy and Daddy:

Mommy says to Daddy, "Here, take the baby." Daddy says, "I'm holding the remote."

Hayden still does not roll from front to back. Can't figure it out for the life of him. He pushes up with his arms and even got some stomach clearance. Mommy tries to imitate him but does not have as much stamina.

Mommy realizes that she & Hayden have the same eyebrows, and is thrilled.

Hayden has a grin that threatens to split his face in half. He and Mommy laugh laugh laugh at each other. He thinks Mommy is very funny looking, apparently.

Mommy rocks his car seat back & forth violently while singing in hyperspeed, "Rock a bye baby, on the tree top...," then asking why he isn't asleep yet. It makes him laugh every single time.

Hayden has begun to realize that his hand can actually bring things to his mouth. It's cool, he thinks. He sometimes gets completely absorbed by his hand.

We practice sitting up but he usually just falls over. He is very slumpy.

He tried a sip of tomato soup and loved it. Applesauce didn't go over as well.


Mommy tells Hayden in bed that we are a full service station. He gets some milk and gets his toes warmed at the same time. We have two pumps.


Hayden slept through the night for the first 2 times. He woke up so hungry that he grabbed Mommy's ear and tried to pull her whole head down into his gaping mouth.

When he did eat, he proceeded to projectile vomit it all over the bed.


He has begun playing with his tongue a lot. Sticking it out, wagging it around. Chewing on it like his Uncle Teddy.

We keep practicing sitting up, but Mommy is better at it. He keeps tipping over.


Hayden has suddenly gotten up on all fours then proceeds to bounce back and forth. He can only do this for moments at a time. O my god he is nigh on to crawling. Problem is, he can still only shimmy backwards. The other day we found him 3 feet from where we left him, backwards. He was very upset to found himself to have moved from the carpeting to the wood floor.

He has gotten much better at sitting up. Now he can maintain it for a many moments without tipping over. And sometimes he's not even balancing with his arms. Sitting amongst the laundry is a very safe place to practice.

He has troubles eating sometimes because he has to stop and make goo goo eyes at Mommy.

Hayden thinks Mommy is VERY funny.


Hayden has his first trip to the real pool. Mommy is delighted with how cute he looks in his teeny tiny little swim trunks. Hayden pretty much wears a permanent look of concern during the whole affair. He even got dunked a couple of times, after which he looked shocked and appalled but did not cry.

Experience with eating "solids" thus far: We found that solids really refers to any food that isn't milk, mushed up to a milk-like consistency. He has tried sweet potato, peas, applesauce, and tomato soup. Reaction has been: "Um, excuse me, but this isn't breast milk, thank you very much." Ah. He's a mamma's boy, which mamma likes just fine for now.

Today with Daddy's help he got on hands & knees and made an effort to scoot forward. Daddy was very excited. Unfortunately, his body moved further than his knees and he ended up on his tummy.

Trouble is, it's hard not to laugh. You feel him push himself up on his hands. You hear him breathing; you feel his breath on your forehead. He's obviously turned his face towards you. You KNOW he's staring at you. You hear his gurgly "Mommy is so funny" noises. DON'T BREAK YOUR POKER FACE.

He is still staring. His eyes are boring a hole in your head. His breathing is loud in your ear.


Last week Mommy, Daddy, Hayden, and Grandma & Grandpa Woodruff went to a pumpkin patch. Hayden's first introduction to pumpkins was very important. Everyone wore orange so as not to scare the pumpkins. Grandma & Grandma demonstrated to Hayden how to sneak up on a pumpkin & catch it with a blanket. Mommy demonstrated the sneak & pounce method. Hayden then tried his hand at pumpkin stalking, and caught his first big one. We think he will be a fine pumpkin hunter.


Mommy has suddenly realized all the cool things you can do with a baby that can sit up. Specifically, dress him in things. "Wow-- this jacket goes right on him." "Snaps in the back? No problem!" It's a whole new world.


Hayden had his 6 month visit with the doctor.

Wait a minute-- he is SIX MONTHS OLD.

OK, now that we've recovered, the doctor's appointment had a little questionnaire. It went something like this:

Nurse: "Is your water fluoridated?"
Me: "Um, I don't know."

Nurse: "Is he still eating every 3-4 hours?"
Me: "Um, I think so. I mean, not at night, he goes longer at night, um, he eats about twice at night."

Nurse: "Does he turn to you when you talk to him?"
Me: "Um, I guess he does. I mean, he turns his head when I open the garage door. 'Hayden, do you turn when I talk to you?' Yes, there he goes."

Nurse: "Does he keep his head level with his body when you pull up on his hands?"
Me: "Um, I don't know, let's see. Yes, there, he did."

Nurse: "Does he make faces back at you when you make faces at him?"
Me: "Um, I don't know."

Nurse: "Does he pass things from hand to hand?"
Me: "I don't know. He holds things and brings them to his face sometimes. Um, I guess I haven't noticed."

Nurse: "Can he cuddle with you?"
Me: "Some babies can't cuddle? That's so sad. I mean yes, he cuddles just fine."

Nurse: "How is his rolling over?"
Me: "Fine. I mean, he always goes one way, but I know he goes the other way because I find him in his crib on the other side. He doesn't do it during the day, really. He sits up just great, though, see? I think it just doesn't occur to him to roll over onto his back because he doesn't mind being on his tummy any more. You see, he working on crawling, he gets up on his hands and knees and bounces. But he can only move backwards."

Nurse's eyes have glazed over. "OK then, the doctor will be right with you."

He is 27 1/4 inches long and weighs 16lb 3oz.

Hayden had his friend Clint over the other day. Clint is 2 months younger and a pound heavier than Hayden. Clint's mommy and I decided that though Clint could beat up Hayden, Hayden would be able to run away.


Hayden says "baby." He does it right after he says "buh buh buh buh" and before he says "ba ba ba ba." Upon prompting, he does not repeat it.

Hayden bounces frequently on his hands and knees, but makes no forward progress. He does, however, go backwards. Sometimes he gets stuck on various immobile objects. Once he hit the hardwood floor and slithered quite a distance and around a corner. "Where you going, honey?," I say.

A variety of Hayden's friends have teeth, but he has none as of yet.

He has his own keyboard for typing.


Hayden usually takes showers. Today Hayden takes a real bath and discovers splashing.

Thanksgiving 2003

Hayden flies to Jersey and doesn't cry too much, though we are sure it seemed like quite enough to our fellow passengers.

While on the East Coast Hayden learns how to push himself up to a sitting position. He practically does the splits while doing it. The first time he did it by accident and was very mad. "How did this happen? I want to be on my stomach." Mommy annoys Hayden a bit by repeatedly putting him on his tummy and saying, "Do it again! Do it again!"

The sitting up trick has halted the backing up trick for now. It is much more fun to sit up. Mommy is glad for any delay to crawling. He can still move around, but now he does it by going up & down, up & down. Mommy leaves him in the dining room and comes back to a panic because he isn't there. Then, she discovers him all the way underneath the dining room table, wearing a big grin.

Hayden is on his best behavior at Thanksgiving, leading Grandpa to believe that he is one of the best-natured children he has ever seen. Which he is, really, along with strikingly beautiful and a genius. Hayden is highly diverted on vacation by so many new distractions. "Look at this floor! This is different than the floor at home!"

In Philadelphia we stayed with Aunt Jean & Aunt Martha, who own 2 dogs. Mommy has tried to be relaxed but observant with the dogs around the baby. Tasha snuck in a lick or 2 when possible, which Hayden did not mind. Then Mommy put Hayden on the bathroom rug while wetting her hair, and turned around to Hayden being french-kissed by the dog. Lick lick lick, on the gums, in the mouth. Yum yum yum. Hayden has a droopy-eyed, blinky look on his face of "Not - sure - what's - going - on - but - kind of - cool." Mommy called Tasha "Hayden's girlfriend" for the rest of the trip. Doggie snuck one more in kiss before the trip was over.

Aunt Zia had 27 people over for Thanksgiving dinner. We had to mix the stuffing in a big cooler. During our after-dinner walk, Claire tried to organize the group into running up the Art Museum stairs after Zia, a la Rocky. It was a messy affair, but did result in a group of strangers clapping and singing the Rocky theme for us.

Early December

Hayden now sleeps through the night, from 7:30 to 7:30. Mommy thinks he is super-boy for this. Still no teeth. Grandpa Paley informs Mommy that Hayden's aunts didn't get their teeth until they were 13 months old. We are starting "solid" foods now. Funny term for something the consistency of watery mashed potatoes. Some flavors are met with more enthusiasm than others. Prunes are a big hit, plus, they keep him regular.

Mommy and Hayden invent a game called Dump Truck. Mommy has noticed the garbage trucks that take the yard waste bins, turn them upside-down, shake them, and put them back down again. So Hayden lies on Mommy's shins while Mommy rises them up, up, up, making a big machine noise. Then, he gets shaken, "karumba rumba rumba," then he goes back down and gets bounced, "ka boomba boomba boomba." It's a popular game.

Hayden laughs predictably by someone putting a nose in his stomach. Mommy has just discovered this, but finds that Daddy has known this for a long time.